Ex Nihilo

The year was 2012. The month was November and the day? The 23rd. Day after Thanksgiving/Turkey Day. A day commonly referred as Black Friday. From this hellish day an idea was finally brought to reality.

I started a blog.

To be fair, I've been toying with the idea of a blog since forever. I had once dabbled with blogging back in high school and I was damn terrible at it. Filled with grammatical errors, spelling mishaps and stupid ideas only an angst-riddled teenager would think was good. This time though I feel like I can do it right, or at the very least better than I have ever before. Of course, if you give me a couple years, I'll come back to this hell hole and realized my blogging skills were sub-par at best and at worst, something only an angst-riddled twentysomthing would have found amusing.

About 80% of this blog is a chance for me to exercise my terrible growing writing talents. Another 60% of it would be devoted to throwing up tin-foil hat opinions about video games, music, books, television and movies. Entertainment in general will be torn apart for my own and hopefully (I highly doubt it) your own amusement. The remaining 20% will be dedicated to figuring out how to math.

Some people in my life have called me funny. I feel sorry for those people's learning disabilities. I guess if you laugh at something I posted, you really should go take a shower and rethink your life for a few. If you want, you can go do that now. I won't be peeking, pinky-swears.

...

Got it out of your system? Good. You're looking good by the way. Now I'll try to be funny, but if I fail feel free to call me out on it. I'll probably lose like... ten seconds of sleep from your constructive criticism. If I do somehow succeed, then... yay? I'm not trying to be funny, I'm just going to write whatever my brain poops out.

If I offend you in someway, go ahead and look at yourself in the mirror and think long and hard about how much it stings you that some guy across the internet does not share the same opinion as you. If I'm genuinely offensive like in terms of racisim and how Asians are bad at most things except stereotypes, then go ahead and call me out on it. That one will probably cost me thirty seconds of sleep. Trust me, racism is at the top of my list of things that keep me awake at night. Too bad I really love sleeping.

This blog will hopefully keep me motivated to actually getting around to doing two things I absolutely love in this world and would like to turn said loved things into a pretty profit for comfortable living. One, I'd like to get some reviews in. A chance for me to get some journalism chops in there 'cause I feel like selling my opinions for Doritos and Mountain Dews sounds like tremendous amounts of fun. The other is possibly posting a short story or excerpt or two on here for everyone to read and then soon after mock. I want to be a famous author of some sorts, or make a damn good story that I could sellout and live like a god damn king for the rest of my life on. If only J. K. Rowling had not taken my idea of a boy orphan who later became Luke Skywalker.

I guess if you've read this whole post, you really need a hobby or something. The other guy on my shoulder's telling me I should thank you or something, but thanking people was sooo yesterday.

That's why we call it Thanksgiving.

Mind = Blown.